Parenthood Guilt

A couple weeks ago I was finding myself in the all too familiar place most parents know- the

deep, dark hole of parenthood guilt. The holidays had taken their toll on me. My cup was

empty- and I wanted some time for myself! BUT, every time I thought about time to myself I

thought about how awful I felt for needing or wanting that. Everyone knows this song and

dance- the “I need a BREAK FROM YOU LITTLE PEOPLE” but then you leave the house and five minutes later you're texting the babysitter asking how the kids are.

Some of the things I have been trying to remind myself:

 Selfcare is NOT selfish. I am a better parent when I have had time to myself to fill my

own cup. Your kids deserve the best of you, not the rest of you.

 I am teaching these little people what it means to be an adult. I want my sons to see

their mom chase her dreams, do things that bring her joy, and take time for a date with

friends or a significant other. Those are things I want for them, so I should model these

behaviors for them as that is how they learn.

 I have been trying to focus on presence. Instead of focusing on how many minutes I

spend with the kids, I have been focusing on the three adjectives I want them to feel

when I am with them. Quality is better than quantity.

 This month, I have been trying to put my phone away when I get home until they go to

bed. It has just been too tempting to work or mindlessly scroll social media. I’ve

committed to working while at work, and being home when I am home, and I have felt

much better!

 Trading with other parents for playdates. It’s really a win-win. My kids can play with

friends, I feel less guilty about going out, AND it is budget friendly.

 Last but not least- affirmation. Remember, you are enough, you have enough, and you

do enough. Your kids think you are absolutely wonderful and love you very much!